Aug 16, visiting the wellness center

I feel weird today. Don't know if its because of my visit to hospital or just a chemo effect. 

I had an appointment at the "wellness center" this morning. My first clue was that I wanted to drive rather than walk, but maybe it was just because the weather turned funny. Then I deviously used my dad's disabled parking permit (to extend my time in a normal parking bay on the street) Please don't judge me, I know I am so going to rot in Hell for my deception. I mean its clearly written on the permit - only for use in transporting the permit holder - well dad was safely in his armchair at home - but I felt that maybe crappy chemo justified just a little bit of ummm, wiggle room...

Anyway, I had my physiotherapy assessment, I did Ok if I say so myself. What surprised me was 16% body fat, I thought I would have more than that. I suppose 18kg weight loss since last year would account for some of that, it really has been quite stable recently though. Possibly my daily walks are helping as well. I start a program next week, 2 days a week, let's see if I am so smug then...

Afterwards I had a mandatory session with the social worker. The discussion became quite heavy, about voluntary assisted dying, my wishes around church and funeral arrangements (in her defense, I had ticked these topics for discussion, it wasn't like the poor lady sprung it on me) my guilt at what I am putting my parents and family through. Needless to say I cried. And of course the mandatory discussions about worry, sleep disturbance etc You get the idea. Best to put some thought into these things now. It was an emotionally draining session.

One interesting thing, NDIS doesnt get involved in palliative care, only if there is a disability whatever the cause. Sort of surprised me, worth exploring a bit, I imagine loss of mobility because one is bed bound would count as a disability. I am not up to considering this today though.

I dropped by my parents for lunch on the way home. Naturally I did not confess my crime from earlier in the day! Then I am afraid I flaked out at home. I just felt so lethargic, I couldn't get my lazy ass off the couch, snoozed most of the afternoon. Must be the post chemo fatigue they warned me about. Of course.

Now, off topic, here is a picture of Lorraine Lee, also known as the winter flowering rose. She is pretty hardy, easy to grow, just don't crowd her so the air can circulate or she will get mildew. No smell sadly. However, she has given me a lot of pleasure this time of year. And yes, I know I am just showing off...