Feb 03 basking in the post radiation glow

Well, it's done for now - 2 courses of radiotherapy completed - one for the primary in the pancreas, and one for the liver metastases. Now it's a waiting game. Next week I check my tumour markers then I see both the oncologists to determine what happens next...But I suspect I am at the end of this road at the moment...there's a deep ravine with no bridge ahead...I guess I'll report back once I've had those consults

Weirdly, I feel well. Sort of, if you ignore the stretchy feeling fullness in my gut. I am excited to stop the low residue diet, I mean seriously, no fibre and no fruit, and twice a day movicol & de-gas to compensate? Stuff that, No thanks! The nurse today was excited I had put on 2kg, even when I pointed out that was mostly due to TimTams, it didn't temper her enthusiasm. I guess she's right, there doesn't seem to be a lot of point about "moderation" at this stage does there? You know, I've even contemplated taking up smoking - Cuban cigars my cousin recommended. (Apparently you dont inhale, I'm tempted...) So suave. So cool. So me...(So full of bullshit)

My dear niece took this picture of me in the radiotherapy centre, after I had been set up, about to start my dose. To explain what you see - the red doesnt actually look like that, it's a projected grid, I guess the camera shows all the beams. I am on a molded bean bag which has been vacuum sealed to retain its shape, it keeps my torso at the same angle and position between visits. Legs in a molded foam cushion. You can see the markings helping position me on the equipment. The corset is strapped around my midriff, there's an inflatable balloon under it which compresses my abdomen to prevent deep breaths (it only partly works - I keep hyperventilating when the beams are actively rotating round me, there is no way on Earth I could have held my breath!) There's a little white drape across my waist as they had to pull my pants down, (to protect my poor niece she would have been so traumatised no amount of therapy could unsee that shit) My head is in a head rest and my arms are above my head holding onto a horizontal bar. The machine basically swings around me whirring and buzzing when it's active. Timewise, it's 80% positioning, 20% actual treatment. That's it, now you know. Interesting experience...