Feb 17 - the sword of Damocles

After 3 months of chemotherapy

Followed by 5 months of radiotherapy

My tumour markers have....doubled

This was the theme of my consult with the oncologist today. It doesnt really add up. I have a permanent full feeling and I feel heavy after I eat, but both less than some months ago. My abdominal CT after Christmas didnt show new tumour masses (which doesnt exclude they might be elsewhere) 

We decided we couldnt rule out (recent, ongoing) cell death (from the radiotherapy) explaining the high levels, as opposed to more tumour, so I am going to repeat the blood tests and do a whole torso CT scan late March.

Good-o.

I was so entranced by the pigs flying in perfect formation outside the window, I lost track of time. Poor man had to get my attention...

So, I tried to pin him down on life expectancy. 1-2 years his best guess through gritted teeth. But who knows?

With my luck?

So the big question is - for when should I set my "live to see" goals?

My 60th? (15 months)

My niece finishing high school? (21 months)

My nephew finishing high school? (57 months)

asteroid 2024 YR₄  striking Earth December 2032? (94 months)

????

 

Oh, I forgot to mention, the cardiologist agrees I probably have mild angina again, (chest tightness when I walk) so he fiddled with my meds, and I now have to carry nitro spray around with me. Just in case. Didnt want to do an angiogram again because of my "condition" 

Good-o. 

Thats all I want to write today, it's too depressing, I need to get some air. And leave that damn anginine spray behind. Fuck my life.