It's funny how you just know things ain't right. You just know. Had my scan yesterday, follow up appointment due next week. It can't be good when the oncologist rings the very next day.
At least the mystery of my pains that I wrote about last entry has been solved. The good news is that the original tumour has shrunk, so have the Twins. However they have been busy. Naughty Twins. Apparently my liver now has numerous metastases (I didn't ask exactly how many) Too many to try radiation again.
My only choices now will be a different, more toxic chemotherapy or enrol in a clinical trial (so being experimented on) Sophie's choice.
He wanted to move my appointment forward to discuss, but I haven't done my bloods yet, and really I don't see the point, what's a few days wait going to change?
Besides, I have my niece's birthday on the weekend and it can certainly wait till after that. Otherwise I'll be po-faced and that won't do. And I think I prefer a teeny bit of peace for the moment, to get my bearings.
So I have a few days thinking to do. What a choice...
The probable insertion of a central access port, followed by poison infusions (and if the last lot was considered mild, well, fuck me) OR likely liver biopsy again, followed by experimental drugs with unknown efficacy and side effects (again, F*** me) OR to Hell with it, do nothing and let myself go (again, you guessed it, F*** me)
Haven't told the family yet, I want to wait till I've made a decision, so don't mention it!
Sounds like the time to go lie on the grass and look at the clouds. I suppose I should get used to that.
You're constantly in my thoughts Jim ... enjoy lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds - sounds like a twilight theme!
ReplyDeleteI have some grass at my place Jim - the clouds may or may not be the same xx Lisa
ReplyDeleteCan you tell I'm catching up? How dare work get in the way of your blog! Sending hugs 🤗
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