July 10 - reprieve?

I spent yesterday crying

Tears of relief 

Finally, something going my way

The criteria to continue this treatment was that there was required to be less than 20% growth in the target lesions. This is after only 2 treatments mind you

Here are the measurements from my scan 

 Target Lesion                                     Current (mm)                 14/05/2025 (mm)
 1. Pancreatic head                             26 x 24 x  24                        45 x 33 x 37
 2. Coeliac axis node                          25 x 21                                 29 x 21
 3. Precaval node                                27 x 17                                 27 x 17
 4. Superior segment 8 liver metastasis 23 x 17 x 20                     23 x 17 x 20
 5. Segment 7 liver metastasis             26 x 20 x 21                       26 x 22 x 21

Some have shrunk, others stable. Structure wise, they look like they're degenerating even if they haven't shrunk (according to the report)

I honestly don't know how to react, its left me a bit numb. I pinch myself. Is it real? Yesterday during my infusion I kept tearing up. Good tears. 

If all goes well, this is a 2 year trial. 

I suppose I better start looking after myself a bit better. It's hard to describe the sense of relief. Before I was just sitting around waiting to die, like what was the point? Of anything? I couldn't be bothered...

I've been handed a reprieve, maybe short, maybe not. How's I get off my fat ass and start to live again? 

Address all the issues I put on hold because...why bother? Oddly, I find myself looking forward to Christmas this year...