Aug 05 - a day in the life of

I think I've settled into a pattern, hospital infusion, blood tests, pain episodes, constant fatigue, poor appetite, its all become rather mundane and routine... 

Odd thing though, for the last few weeks I've had this cough, those of you who've spoken to me on the phone will recall it's mainly when I talk. The team thinks it's laryngeal. So yesterday off I trundled to the respiratory physician, who promptly referred me to ENT because "this isn't asthma" (I had normal chest scans as well, so it wasn't anything else either)

But then, he started talking about bronchoscopy and lavage (sticking tubes into my lungs and collecting samples via washing fluid through the bronchial tubing - basically a mini drowning) I sat there with a fake smile plastered on my face, gritting my teeth...but inside it was like No. No dude. Stop talking. 

I. am. not. having. another. invasive. medical. procedure. I'm just not.

I was upset.

I went to bed perfectly fine.

I did not wake in the same state. 

Cramps. Low abdominal cramps woke me up. I stumble to the toilet. Waves of nausea. Cramps getting worse. I wanted to curl up on the floor, but I figured I better stay on the toilet, in case something came out. The pain was enough to make me nauseated, but luckily it passed. As if nothing had happened. I went back to bed.

It's going to be a bad day...

20 minutes later, bang, I almost didnt make it to the toilet, 5 steps away. These cramps were bad. I mean, we've all had cramps but this time I felt like collapsing, which was new. The dry retching was an added bonus. In amongst all that, I managed to pass a couple of rabbit pellet droppings. WTF?

So this continued another 4-5 times every 20 minutes or so. Some rabbit droppings, some vomiting, cramps. Ho hum. I stayed in bed. After midday. 

Until.

I think the solids finished. Then the dam broke. Boy, did the dam break. Toilet bowl looked like those volcanic mud pools at Rotorua. Relief. So that explains the cramps, I was banked up with nowhere to go. Well, shit.

As a foolish medical student, I was always amused how fixated older people were on their bowels. Who's laughing now?

The afternoon has been better, no more episodes, I've drank some fluids, nothing solid today (the very thought makes me nauseated)

I'm going to bed soon, we'll see what the night holds...

Of course, as soon as I finished writing this piece, I lay down on the sofa,and promptly vomited. It's going to be a long night after all.